Start with your skin//You’ve never liked the freckles on your hand or the sporadic scars that line your
legs, so it has to be the first to go//Peel it, scrape it, rip it, whatever you have to do to get rid of it at
all//Find something better to replace it with: Lighter skin so you can move up in society or darker so you
actually resemble your own dad//Take it off, set it aside, and don’t think about it for now.//Move to the
internal organs; find a new liver because alcoholism runs in the family, new kidneys because it might
come in handy down the line, remove the appendix because it might burst and leave a scar in the future so
it’s better to just get rid of it now and be safe than sorry//Your lungs have grown tired from the second-
hand smoke you didn’t have a say in absorbing and the first-hand smoke you absolutely did; find new
ones that will last for as long as possible//There isn’t much that you can do about the bones except scrap
and scratch at them until you’ve forgotten about all the pain they’ve carried you through//Do this and try
not to think about anything else//Finally, move onto the heart//Crack open your ribs and reach in the same
way your seventh-grade biology teacher did to the poor frog you were dissecting in class//Try your best
not to think about the blood that never seems to go away and the inevitable ache that comes from
knowing that you will soon be ridding yourself of the very organ that has kept you alive for so
long//Apologize to your heart: Say something along the lines of “I’m sorry, but I think I need to try
something new”//You’ll feel a moment of nostalgia but that will soon pass when you replace it with
something better//Reach in and rip it out quickly, replace it even more quickly, fold your ribs back and try
to adjust to the way your new heart feels//There isn’t much that you can do about your brain but tweaks,
minor adjustments you desperately hope will last//Remove the parts of yourself that don’t do well; rid
yourself of the depression, the anxiety, the hopes and fears and melodrama that has stuck around since
you were a child//Go to the left hemisphere and break down the language barriers//Right now, you can’t
really speak Spanish and sometimes struggle to get the English out; fix this so that both come out like
water from a white woman’s kitchen faucet//Put everything back to where it should be; the heart back in
the rib cage, the liver on top of the gallbladder, the stomach next to the liver, the kidneys so that they
mirror each other//Slide your skin back to where it should be and try not to think about the fact that you
no longer recognize yourself//It doesn’t matter now- this is better//Bodies are just vessels of our existence
anyways, and I’m willing to part ways with this one//Turn off the lights, lay down in your bed, and go to
sleep so you can try it again in the morning//And this is how you begin again.